I was
asking The Lord last night about my business, and how to refresh and inspire my ladies. I absolutely love coaching, but I can get stuck in the
"to-do's" and all the back work, and forget my purpose. I'm always
asking my ladies about their "why": why do you want to get healthy,
why do you want to reach your goal...because we can have all the
"how's" in the world, but until there's a reason for the how,
one can often lack motivation and commitment.
Last
night my "why" hit me like a freight train. I originally wanted
to start coaching because I needed that sense of community, and I wanted to be
a part of something bigger than myself. I wanted peace and security, and I
wanted to use my passion - health and fitness - to inspire others. And you
know, I did that. It worked. I have that community, peace, and security. I have
been using my passion... but I needed it to go deeper than that.
This is the
year of victory for me - victory over health issues, victory over
insecurities, and victory over the way I see myself. In 2010 I battled an
undiagnosed eating disorder. I restricted calories to the point that my small frame was 96 pounds. I remember getting on the scale one day, weighing 98
pounds, and feeling fat. I remember looking at my stomach wondering how I could
get it smaller, tighter, flatter. I remember worrying when my size 00 pants got
the slightest bit tight because I was bloated. I would cave and eat a food from the
"no-no" list, and even just the slightest taste sent me in to a whirlwind
of guilt. I exercised obsessively, counted every calorie, and weighed myself
several times each day. I was tired, frail, and unhealthy, but I felt that if I
controlled my food and my exercise, I could control my life. I felt
accomplished when I dropped another pound because I was finally "in
control".
My sense of
accomplishment faded as reality hit. I knew I needed to gain weight, not
because I was going to become more and more sick, but because I wanted people
to stop asking if I was ok. My mind and my body were not healthy. I would get weird glances, and friends were asking
my family if I was alright. I was in denial of my circumstances, but now realize
the severity of the situation. My “why” for that time in my life was this: I
felt ugly. I felt unworthy. I felt undesired. I felt like if I didn’t fit the
mold of the girl on the cover of the magazine, I was unlovable. The physical
met the emotional, and I felt that controlling my body meant I would turn the
tables on my emotions and I would feel beautiful. Worthy. Desired. Loved.
Last night
my “why” for my business was answered with a gentle word from The Lord: "beauty".
Chills wash over me as I write this, because THIS is the beginning of an era. I
now know my reason.
I want a
woman to see her self worth. I want a woman to feel loved, desired, secure, and
beautiful. I want her to see and feel how much The Lord desires her and how she
is made in His image. I want a woman to go to sleep each night feeling strong,
knowing she did something amazing and so healthy for her body. I want to help a woman find a healthy relationship with food and break the chains of emotional eating
and food-related guilt. THIS is the end of an era of Satan’s chains on us
women. This is the Beauty Movement 2016.
But, I can’t
do this alone. I need you to join this movement. I’m looking for self-motivated, fitness and health-oriented women to
mentor ladies in a private online accountability setting. Training will be
provided and you’ll work with me one-on-one as we help end the trend of obesity
and promote a trend of beauty and self worth. Join #thebeautymovement2016 here. Or if you have more questions, those can be answered here.
If this post resonated with you and you need that help, accountability, and motivation on your health and fitness journey, please reach out to me! I'm always looking for ladies that need or want that help...because after all, it's why I do what I do. <3 Contact me here for more information, or if you just need someone to pray with you.
I hope & pray you feel beautiful today.
Love,
Anna
